Outplay's Bite Size App For Swingers - The Scottish Games Network

Bite Size Games, the new new label for weeny games from Dundee’s Outplay is continuing to pioneer and explore the stranger sides of mobile gaming content. For example, the label’s first release, Pug Rapids, introduced players to a bizarre combination of water sports and dogging.

Now with its second game, Bite Size aims to get players into the world of swinging. Swinging Stupendo introduces a heroically muscled and impressively moustachioed lycra-clad strong man and acrobat, who swings his way across a stage in front of a voyeuristic crowd of repressed Victorian ladies and gentlemen, who breathlessly anticipate his imminent collision with a series of large electrically charged balls, which punish the poor fellow and subject him to serious humiliation.

It’s the sort of game which every self-respecting MP or media mogul should immediately protest against most vehemently and call with alacrity for its removal from the various app stores, if only for the sake of the children.

Swinging Stupendo is also – and we need to be honest here – harder than a sweaty superhero’s sixpack. It uses a simple tap-and-hold-to-swing control system, which ensures even those with the steamiest glasses or sweatiest hands can get into the lifestyle without too much embarrassment. However, there the hand-holding and coy looks end. The game is bloody difficult. The big buzzing balls are placed fiendishly, so microsecond perfect taps are required in over to avoid 10,000 volts jagging through your flimsy and freakishly distended leotard into your unsuspecting buttocks.

Think Super Hexagon and Impossible Road met Daddy Longlegs in a private burlesque club to watch some Flappy Birds and you’re not a million miles away.

Of course, Swinging Stupendo is free. Free to play, free to live – and love – as it chooses. It’s already been featured on the App Store because apple believes in free love and thinks swinging is awesome. They’re not scared of electric balls.

You should download and play the game. Because it dares you not to. It dares you to look away. It dares you to live your plain little vanilla life without having even tasted the forbidden delights of electrified balls, waxed moustaches and damp lycra. Go on. You want to. Secretly maybe, but you do.