Earth’s donkeys are under attack. A mysterious force from beyond is abducting them and using them in nefarious ways. Probing, genetic harvesting, mutiliation. Laser-like cuts, no evidence of predators, body parts ‘cored’ out like donkey flavoured apples being prepared for a delicious pudding.
Yokels in remote areas of various countries are reporting encounters with mystifying lights in the sky. They experience episodes of missing time. They awaken in odd places, clothes on backwards and unexpected bruises, cuts and injuries…
Therefore, dear reader, ALIENS. Awful betentacled (probably) ALIENS! Green or grey ones (most likely). With a sinister agenda (we reckon) and plans to conquer the earth (we’re pretty sure on that score) and enslave us all in their beef mines, or use us as food.
In short it’s a bit of an intergalactic mess. Not least because due to heavy budget cuts and the actions of hippy dippy liberals, good old-fashioned unlegislated, unsupervised military research and weapons procurement, we have but one tank. We cannot rely upon Iron Man, for he is fictional (and copyright Marvel/Disney). Same with the other Avengers, DAMMIT!
What, oh what shall we do?
Step up, soldier. Strap yourself into the the world’s sole remaining tank and prepare to blast some extra-terrestrial biological entities into dripping, splattery chunks of ichor and sizzling, donkey-torturing meat. That’ll learn ’em.
Pixel Raiders is a delicious new corn and maize snack, which comes in three zingy flavours – pickled onion, barbecued donkey and chutney alien chunks.
No, wait, Pixel Raiders is a brand new game from Pixel Sword. A shoot-em-up from the old school.
Paul Leishman, the founder of Pixel Sword and designer of Pixel Raiders, told us:
Pixel Raiders is an homage to classic arcade shooters of yore (approx 1988). It mixes elements of Centipede and Space Invaders with a retro 50s B Movie style.
Paul will be showcasing Pixel Raiders at Dare to be Digital ProtoPlay in Dundee on the 7th and 8th of August.
Pixel Raiders is planned for release in February 2015 for PC, Mac and Linux.
Earth needs you.
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Ahhh, just like Grabatron!