Physicists, astronauts, quantum tunnelers, renegade cosmologists and evil galactic overlords, rejoice! Squares Of Black Space: Alpha Square, the new release from Pixel Sword, is out now. Now you can do battle with the very fabric of spacetime itself, hold back the darkness and ensure the universe, the multiverse, indeed, the WSOGMM continues to exist.
The challenge is most simple. Use your light and love and colour and fast moving fingers to exterminate, eliminate and extinguish the ravenous squares of black space before they grow and wipe out all that is good and bright and colourful.
If you fail then the whole universe will be sentenced to a slow, lingering heat death, losing all coherence and form until we remain, a mere smear of barely differentiated atomic particles, radiating the last warmth into an uncaring sky.
And it will all be your fault, you sausage-fingered buffoon, because you thought that chuckling at a Flappy Bird was more important than infinity itself.
It is difficult, we grant you. All that is truly good is difficult. In fact it’s a right sod. Getting a high score can be described as a challenge appropriate to only those who have sacrificed many hours to wiping out scary black space with washes of digital colour and sparkles of benevolence.
Squares Of Black Space: Alpha Square (or SoBS:AS to its friends) is OUT NOW for Windows Phone. It’s FREE and is appropriate for players of ages 3+, if indeed you have inculcated your kid into a sort of super space person of ultimate awesome.
You can do it, mankind. Yes, you can. We’ve avoided destruction by Vogon, Vulcan, Borg, Reaper, Predator and Martian (several times). We can not, we shall not be defeated by the icy creep of void, the empty hiss of the cosmic background radiation and the seething cauldron of quantum fluctuations in the zero point field.
That would suck. So, go stop the Squares Of Black Space: Alpha Square. Generations of ungrateful, obese children may shrug indifferently, but you’ll know. You’ll know you saved us all. Go You. You’re awesome.